From Val Lieske's "talk" at Women of Heart...
Journey to Joy -- That's a great title.
I don't really 'believe' in happiness. It is too elusive and dependent on things we may or may not be able to control. Like our health, or other peoples health, our income, where we were born, who our parents are, if I had a good nights sleep or the size of our nose. I made a decision sometime ago to try not to base the direction of my day on whether or not I was 'happy'. I chose to be joyful...most days. I also like that you recognize that it is a journey. One that will take a lifetime to reach our destination.
There are many things that bring me joy but this morning I'm going to talk about my journey to becoming an artist.
I guess you could say that my journey began in grade 5 when I became cognizant of the fact I could entertain people. To this day, I LOVE making people smile. I never seriously pursued my desire to create and perform until only 5 years ago. Oh I took drama in school and volunteered here at the church but I never considered it a viable career option. You can't be a Christian and be an artist - you can't make money and be an artist. One of those is true.
Now I should say that my mother did see a spark of something in me and decided to enroll me in piano lessons. After 5 or 6 years -I couldn't play "row row row your boat" if you paid me a million dollars. Sorry mom. Fast forward to about 4 and a half years ago. I had been working at the Royal Bank for 13 years slowly moving up the corporate ladder when one grey October morning I was 'right-sized' out of the organization. I sat in my car in the parkade, with a small cardboard box in my lap wondering what people did on Tuesday mornings if they didn't have a job. I spent 6 months trying to figure that out.
I got a life coach who encouraged me to ask myself the hard questions -- like what does your perfect day look like? what do you really, really want to do? After dancing around the idea for many months I finally said the words out loud – “I want to be an artist". "Fine" she said, "be one." Easy for her to say. I gave myself another 6 months to 'become an artist'. Whatever that meant. I am still becoming an artist.
I won’t bore you will all the details of things I’ve done along the way to ‘artist-hood’ but suffice it to say that I’ve acted, directed, written, produced, stage managed, been a teacher and a student. Of all the things I’ve done I am probably most proud of my theatre company - Fire Exit Theatre. We are in our 6th season – we are Western Canada’s only faith-based theatre. We don’t call ourselves a Christian Theatre Company because I don’t know what one is. I don't like labelling things as "Christian". It only seems to separate us more from the very people we are trying to reach. I don’t believe in ‘them’ and ‘us’. We are all on a journey with God whether we know it or not. We are all simply artists.
Why I started FET? I want to be able to tell the truth -- I want to be able to show the darkness to make the bright that much brighter. The truth is often ugly …messy ...complicated … not everyone in the church is quite ready for this truth. I want community between churches, between artists. I want to create in a neutral space.
I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. I had hoped that knowing that I am “in God’s will” would make my life easier. Not so much/ My journey to joy has been full of great sadness – watching my father die 3 years ago and finding my brother dead in June.
Another part of my journey is working at CSC. I love the 'platform' and resources that I have to create here. But ministry is hard. Fifteen hundred pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches. Eighty percent of seminary and Bible school graduates who enter the ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years. Seventy percent of pastors constantly fight depression.
Working in ministry has made me afraid to open my emails. Almost weekly I receive harsh criticism for things people have seen on stage and don't agree with or simply don't understand. I have been told that people want church to be comfortable. I don't agree. Church should challenge you, church should spur you on to action, church should create conversations in the car ride home..or why bother coming. But I continue to feel called to be here at CSC. To make changes from the inside out.
I feel like Eric Liddell from the movie 'Chariots of Fire' when he says, "I know God made me for a purpose but he also made me fast and I feel His pleasure when I run." I feel God's pleasure when I write and perform and direct and create.
My life verse is "I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. – Eph 4:1" I am very aware of the very public persona I have and that I am being watched. I truly want to live my life with integrity and purpose. I urge you to figure out your calling - your journey - what you were put on this planet to do...and then do it. Listen for God's voice, surround yourself with people that will ask you the hard questions, and never give up.
Val Lieske
Director of Theatre Arts-CSC
Artistic Director-Fire Exit Theatre
www.fireexit.caval@fireexit.ca
